Play Star Trek for Me
“Jason, where are you going?” asked Andy.
“I’m just off to hang with some old friends” replied Jason.
“Really? And who would those be?” asked Andy.
“Just these old colleagues who like the same things as I do” replied Jason.
“Well don’t take long, okay?” Andy asked, buying it.
“Sure won’t!” said Jason, before leaving.
An hour later, Jason found himself in an apartment/hotel of some kind. Aware that the elevator seemed to remain in need of repair, he takes the stairs. Once making it to the room’s door, he knocks.
What looks like a tall, expressionless guy opens the door.
“Hello again, Fox.” He says.
“Hi Sheldon” He replied “Before you call me late, take note of how unattended your elevator system was when I came in, leaving me no choice but to use the stairs”.
“In spite of our age differences motivating us to grow equally disputable attention spans, allow me to denote for your information how at your age I was still susceptible to consult the authorities had I ever witnessed such technicalities, something which at my current age is too petty for me to tightly squeeze into my passably prearranged agenda” Sheldon replied.
“Look, at my age, you probably grew up listening to Harry Callahan enough to forget the authorities and do things your way whilst carrying a .44 gun, so I wouldn’t be complaining” replied Jason. Sheldon chose to remain speechless for the moment, when an extra presence came into the situation.
“Hi, Jason! Why are you still outside? Come on in!” said the slightly round guy, smaller than Sheldon and bearing glasses.
“Hi Leonard! Long time no see!” said Jason coming inside.
“Wait; let’s get a few facts straight.” Said Sheldon, stopping Jason at his tracks “first off, the proper term for the weapon is .44 Magnum, the politically correct term being .44 Remington Magnum, which by the way isn’t even a gun but a CARTRIDGE for one, needless to say it works for handguns AND rifles well enough.”
“…Anyways, what brings you here if not to request an authentic chew out from the one and only physics preacher of Pasadena?” asked Leonard sarcastically, whereas Sheldon responded with an invisible gesture of hostility.
“I was just stopping by to-”
“AND SECOND!” interrupted Sheldon, in the quarter of Jason’s statement. “Maybe I’m wrong but if I was, I would’ve for the least portion HEARD of this Callahan you mentioned, which I’m not thus compelling me to ask who that guy is anyhow? Not one of his movies have I even heard of or trivially been hinted about.”
“He’s the cop detective guy played by the old dude who only gets Oscar nominations if he makes movies with Morgan Freeman” Replied Leonard.
“Oh, Christopher Nolan? That’s odd, I don’t remember him having anything to do with an acting career out of the many biographies I’ve read of him, Joel Schumacher, Tim Burton or any other director whose contributed, and in the case of Schumacher, bastardized the Batman franchise” said Sheldon. Leonard and Jason never gave up one second to awkwardly stare across Sheldon until he too was beginning to discover what the purpose was in this implicit intervention.
“Anyhow” said Leonard and Jason simultaneously, causing their awkward sight to be deflected onto one another.
“You’re the guest, Jason, YOU begin” said Leonard serenely and in hopes of breaking the widespread silence.
“Well, seeing as you guys called me yesterday to give you ideas on what to replace Halo night with…” said Jason as he reached for his book bag.
“Halo night’s cancelled? That’s preposterous! If I was never informed of the event taking place, I being one with a right to vote, try to object in having that preposterous action certified likewise!” said Sheldon, looking at Leonard “ And for the record, I’d like to see you try”
Instead of replying, Leonard opened a table drawer in order to take out a pile of white shards and a couple of tangled wires and circuit boards. After that, he proceeded to give Sheldon a cold stare until it took him long enough to put it all together on his own.
“What is this? Why are you…Oh! Yeah, now I remember!” replied Sheldon.
“This reminds me… Microsoft just sent me a few restraining orders through the mailbox they want us to sign. Not just you! US!” bellowed Leonard, who switches moods after directing his attention back to Jason “So what was it you were going to show us, Jason? I’m sorry you had to hear that too by the way”
“Oh don’t worry. In fact, considering an Ipad case only a month ago, I know EXACTLY how you feel” said Jason, still looking through his book bag. “HERE WE ARE!”
Jason took out a DVD copy of “Star Trek”, according to the mere title and the Enterprise in the middle of shooting into hyperspace within a white background.
“I brought the movie so we could watch it” said Jason.
“GASP! Excellent idea, Fox” said Sheldon, snatching the cartridge out of Jason’s fingers “A study in bad provoked by the effects it can have on a whole fan base who find the one cameo of the certain someone with the same name as the roommate standing next to me never even enough to qualify as an excuse of THINKING they can “redefine” the franchise in spite of its special effects, original story…impressive character development….and….”
Sheldon’s exhilarated critique was cut short by his own mind-boggling quarrels as he looked at the DVD as if it were a photograph of someone in his family who just passed away yesterday.
“What’s with him?” asked Jason towards Leonard.
“Well, you know how in the movie, only Nimoy makes a cameo?” asked Leonard.
“Uh, spoiler alert if you may. I’ve seen all the movies except this one, that’s why I thought this could’ve been a special enough occasion for us all to see” replied Jason.
“Yeah, but the thing is, we ALL saw the movie and-”
“It doesn’t matter” Interrupted Jason. “Can’t we still watch it for fun?”
“Oh no, it’s not that, listen” began Leonard. “The thing is, after we all saw the film, most of us thought it was okay, except Sheldon, because I think he fell in love with it…for the first hour at least”
“Then what happened?” asked Jason.
Leonard looked back at Sheldon who was still staring at the DVD, as if ready to cry.
“To spare you the extensive details, he stopped liking it by the end because it didn’t have both Nimoy AND William Shatner” said Leonard.
Leonard could see Jason was either trying to mimic Sheldon as a way of echoing the sentiment or he too found this tragic beyond all repair.
“What the?...AWW, Come on, Jason, not you!” said Leonard mildly exasperated.
“I…I can’t help it…why can the original Spock be there and not Kirk?” asked Jason, obviously trying hard to stop his lower lip from quivering as much as Sheldon’s.
“Indeed, Can you blame us?” added Sheldon, before viciously squinting.
“Okay, how’s this? We watch the movie AND the special, features.” said Leonard “I heard there was one scene they deleted where he DOES appear, even for just six seconds”
There was nothing else that could’ve impulsed Sheldon and Jason to look at Leonard once he finished uttering those words.
“You’re not kidding” said Sheldon.
“Really?” asked Jason.
“Sure, I’ll even invite Howard, Raj and Penny to come if Raj isn’t busy and Howard is willing to bring Bernadette along” said Leonard.
“That’s great!” said Jason, as he and Sheldon were feeling a lot better. “So if you want, you can keep the film and give it back to me after we watch it tomorrow, I have to go now” said Jason.
“Well too bad, I was really starting to look forward to enjoying your company from the second you came in” said Sheldon.
“Even though you criticized my attention span?” asked Jason.
“We all know how fun predictability turns out at first. Anyone whose half my age and nevertheless willing to challenge my intellect is never turned away from anything but an ally!” said Sheldon.
“So why do you consider Howard an acquaintance?” asked Leonard.
Sheldon looked at Leonard, and then laid his palm on Jason’s head.
“Need I make a gamble between Wii games against Wolowitz and this remarkable youth to answer your question?” asked Sheldon.
“He’s got a point there” said Jason, before Sheldon departed his hand from there. “But really, I’d better get going, see you all tomorrow!”
“Okay, bye Jason” said Leonard.
Jason made it out the door and down the stairs to depart, leaving the two gentlemen at peace with their own company to be regarded.
“Speaking of high stakes gambling, how do YOU know I’m incapable of beating you at “The Conduit”?” asked Leonard.
“That depends, are you inclined for the face off right here, right now?” asked Sheldon.
“Face off? I can bet you it’d be easy to whoop your sorry tokus at any price, anywhere and any day” replied Leonard. Surprise came to mind once he saw Sheldon take a Wii-mote out of his back pocket.
“In that juncture” said Sheldon, holding the Wii-mote close to his face like a microphone. “Go ahead, make my day!”
“I thought you said you’ve never even heard of those movies” replied Leonard, leaving Sheldon in an attempt to look at him-self in puzzlement.
“Which movies?” asked Sheldon.
So there you have it! My other Foxtrot story, as a late honor to the strip's 22nd anniversary. I tried my best to correct it and add a bit more pizazz to the structure so...I REALLY hope I improved. And if not, oh well, it was fun anyways. Both the strip and TBBT should’ve been crossed over long ago!